just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Who died my cat blue again?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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