So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
