so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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