Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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