I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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