I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
