so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
