You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
