i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
