We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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