She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
