I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
