Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
