i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
