I'm going to jail i love you
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
