we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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