either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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