I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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