he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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