So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
