I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
