Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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