i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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