Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
