Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
These tits shall not be calmed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
