worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
