take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
