That's intense
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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