I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
