What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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