at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What a dumb baby whore.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
