dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
