Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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