My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
