During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Still dying that you shit outside
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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