i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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