I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
