It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
