Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
