Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
