I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
