yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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