no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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