just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
