so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
