im drinking this country out of the recession.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
