Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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