i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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