Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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