i would punch a child for taco bell
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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