4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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