Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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