I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
